On each page, you can use a template and inside the according templates, you can use a category so that pages, which include the template, automatically get added to the category.
Highlighting of links based on the inclusion of a template is not possible currently I think. But the basic principle - automatically render a page again, if another page got changed - already is included for MediaWiki. This is exactly what is happening, when a new page gets created, which is linked in another page. In this case this other page gets purged automatically. Anyway, doing such purges, potentially to a really big number of pages, is an expensive operation...