Thread:Extension talk:VisualEditor/"You have cookies disabled" when using private wiki

Here's my setup: VisualEditor REL1_24 on MediaWiki 1.24 using SQLite being served by IIS on Windows Server 2008 R2.

The wiki is set to private, and I've followed the steps from https://phabricator.wikimedia.org/T69313 but when I set $wgSessionsInObjectCache = true, I can't login anymore, getting the error "MyWiki uses cookies to log in users. You have cookies disabled. Please enable them and try again." If I set the variable to false I can login just fine, but any requests to parsoid time out, presumably due to permission issues since Visual Editor works perfectly fine for me if I make my wiki public.

I've been trying to figure this out all day! Any sagely advice? Thanks!